Thursday, 15 January 2004
I have wondered for a long time
what has become of our manners in society? I am not the greatest at manners, but
I still like to open the door for a lady. I still say "yes sir," and "no maam,"
to my elders. But I'll be darned if it ain't like I'm the only one left who does
it. I was playing some video games with my buds, Earl and Slick, and
decided to pose the question to them, Why are people so rude?
Slick: Yo, Bro, pass that soda. Earl, you can't juke me
in this here Madden Game! So what do I think is the reason for all the rudeness
out there in the world? Shizzle my dizzle. It's the way society treats
politeness as if it's a weakness. It's like a sign of strength if you
is rude to folks! I still get the door for my ladies, yo, Cause this pooh
bear still wants to get some honey aight? People is being so uptight and
all, looking out for the number one stunnah instead of what really matters,
video games, fo shizzle! I mean, if I didn't be polite to my
Beehive BuRRRRRs, that's what I call my ladies, then them honey pots be drying
up real quick! Touchdown, sucka! Time for me to cell phone my
momma! Good Point! What about Earl's
Earl: Er, I don't know! I hadn't been rude since my
momma had me. I get's the door and all for the ladies, but they just be
acting like I'm rude, aight? Like maybe it's cause I say things like, "Yo, your
cave or mine, or I bet you look good underneath all that fur." They just slap me
and shizzle. Whatever. Hey, Slick, you be cheatin! You must be gots
some codes for this here Madden Game!
Hmmm... I needed something more
concrete. So I made a list of acts of rudeness I've either seen or been victim
of in the last few days. Perhaps this would help me figure out why people are so
1. Being cut off in traffic.
I was nearing a red light and this prick in a red sports car cuts right in
front of me, forcing me to slam on my brakes and nearly rear ending him. For
chrissakes! It's a REDLIGHT! You can pass me after it turns green,
Nimrod! People like this should be forced to watch an entire season of
the Anna Nicole Show. If they survive their punishment, I think they would
be more considerate drivers.
2. Cell phones going off in a movie theater. This drives
me nuts! Why do people leave their cell phones on ringer instead of vibrate? You
are being very inconsiderate to all of the other people in the theater! These
people should be taken outside, strapped to a post and prison beaten by everyone
who was in the theater. Also, everyone would get a complimentary dvd of the
3. Telemarketers. Oh my god. Don't call me by my first
name like you're my friend. You are not. You are trying to sell me
some high interest rate credit card, crappy coupon deal, or "Free"
vacation that I would end up spending more money on than if I booked
it myself. Oh, and thanks for calling at odd hours of the night, and ruining
movies, card games, or just a general good mood for me. If there is ever a
justification for capital punishment, it is the telemarketer.
4. The Interrupter. You know this one. He or she is the
person who eagerly waits for you to finish a sentence about some incident that
took place or an idea you wanted to share and pounces on your pause to tell you
something that has nothing to do with the conversation at hand. This person will
also begin talking while you are still speaking. I call this the "Twilight Zone"
experience - You feel out of place and time, wondering why this turdpile keeps
talking over you. Hey, here's a thought - Don't run over people, moron! There is
no punishment for this crime. Being the idiots that they are is punishment
From these few incidents I can see a
pattern developing. Rudeness is a sign of being self centered, selfish, and
vain. If you have any of these qualities, or been guilty of any of the "crimes"
I listed above, then you need to make a reality check. How are you making
the world a better place?