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Being Rude  
Written by Dawkus  
Thursday, 15 January 2004

Slick and Earl Playing Madden     I have wondered for a long time what has become of our manners in society? I am not the greatest at manners, but I still like to open the door for a lady. I still say "yes sir," and "no maam," to my elders. But I'll be darned if it ain't like I'm the only one left who does it. I was playing some video games with my buds, Earl and Slick, and decided to pose the question to them, Why are people so rude?


The Slickster Speaks

Slick: Yo, Bro, pass that soda. Earl, you can't juke me in this here Madden Game! So what do I think is the reason for all the rudeness out there in the world? Shizzle my dizzle. It's the way society treats politeness as if it's a weakness. It's like a sign of strength if you is rude to folks! I still get the door for my ladies, yo, Cause this pooh bear still wants to get some honey aight?  People is being so uptight and all, looking out for the number one stunnah instead of what really matters, video games, fo shizzle! I mean, if I didn't be polite to my Beehive BuRRRRRs, that's what I call my ladies, then them honey pots be drying up real quick! Touchdown, sucka! Time for me to cell phone my momma!   

     Good Point! What about Earl's view?

The Earl Gives it to ya straight

Earl: Er, I don't know! I hadn't been rude since my momma had me. I get's the door and all for the ladies, but they just be acting like I'm rude, aight? Like maybe it's cause I say things like, "Yo, your cave or mine, or I bet you look good underneath all that fur." They just slap me and shizzle. Whatever. Hey, Slick, you be cheatin!  You must be gots some codes for this here Madden Game! 


     Hmmm... I needed something more concrete. So I made a list of acts of rudeness I've either seen or been victim of in the last few days. Perhaps this would help me figure out why people are so rude.

1.  Being cut off in traffic.   I was nearing a red light and this prick in a red sports car cuts right in front of me, forcing me to slam on my brakes and nearly rear ending him. For chrissakes! It's a REDLIGHT! You can pass me after it turns green, Nimrod! People like this should be forced to watch an entire season of the Anna Nicole Show.  If they survive their punishment, I think they would be more considerate drivers.

2. Cell phones going off in a movie theater. This drives me nuts! Why do people leave their cell phones on ringer instead of vibrate? You are being very inconsiderate to all of the other people in the theater! These people should be taken outside, strapped to a post and prison beaten by everyone who was in the theater. Also, everyone would get a complimentary dvd of the event.

3. Telemarketers. Oh my god. Don't call me by my first name like you're my friend. You are not. You are trying to sell me some high interest rate credit card, crappy coupon deal, or "Free" vacation that I would end up spending more money on than if I booked it myself. Oh, and thanks for calling at odd hours of the night, and ruining movies, card games, or just a general good mood for me. If there is ever a justification for capital punishment, it is the telemarketer.

4. The Interrupter. You know this one. He or she is the person who eagerly waits for you to finish a sentence about some incident that took place or an idea you wanted to share and pounces on your pause to tell you something that has nothing to do with the conversation at hand. This person will also begin talking while you are still speaking. I call this the "Twilight Zone" experience - You feel out of place and time, wondering why this turdpile keeps talking over you. Hey, here's a thought - Don't run over people, moron! There is no punishment for this crime. Being the idiots that they are is punishment enough.

     From these few incidents I can see a pattern developing. Rudeness is a sign of being self centered, selfish, and vain. If you have any of these qualities, or been guilty of any of the "crimes" I listed above, then you need to make a reality check.  How are you making the world a better place?   



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