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Faking Sick  
Written by Freddy  
Tuesday, 10 February 2004
Can you fake it?      You've rented that awesome game for five days, and had a blast.  It's due back tomorrow, but you still got a ways to go in finishing it.  The problem?  Tomorrow is a school day.

     What do you do?  You got to finish that game.  It'll drive you nuts if you don't.  Do you rent it again?  Heck no!  You play like your sick.  Trust me.  We've all been there.  Here are some ways to faking ill, so you can get around that pesky thing called school.

 1The "Wet Towel"  Method.  Take a wet towel and place it in the microwave.  Warm it up for a minute or so.  Place towel on forehead for a bit.  Not only will you be hot to the touch, but your skin will have a nice clammy feel.

2.  Hold your thermometer to a light bulb.  This works only with gullible parents, as mine won't leave the room until they have checked my temperature.  Use this with caution!  If you keep the themometer under the light too long, then you might be heading for the emergency room.  Not only would you be found out, but you would be even farther from finishing your game.

3If you are Lactose Intolerant, eat a ton of cheese the night before.  This always works.  By the time you recover, your parents will have to go to work, and you got the house to yourself.  Good Job! 

4Pour oatmeal into the toilet.  I don't recommend this one.  You could be given half a glass of Pepto Bismol and sent on to school anyway.  Warning!  Never improvise by adding chocolate syrup or ketchup!  That is just begging to be sent to the emergency room.

5Place Alphabet soup mixed with bread into toilet and claim you blew chunks.  See above for warning.

6If you have to fake it after you gotten out of bed, then get some pretzels, chip dip, creamed corn, and soda.  Mix this nasty concoction up and place in mouth.  When the appropriate time comes, you'll know what to do.     

    Ok, so what if you try these and none of them work?  Then do what Dawkus does.  Poop and pee your pants.    Then cry a lot. [Hey, I do not! It's Freddy who does that!- Dawkus] Your parents will let you stay home and relax.  Let's just say some poeple can do that because they are a momma's boy.  [Yeah, you! - Dawkus again]

     Remember, school can wait.  Finish that game!

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