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Help! I'm Trapped in a Fortune Cookie Factory!  
Written by Dawkus  
Saturday, 17 April 2004
Sometimes life is like a bowl full of eaten peaches:  It can be the pits!I love eating chinese food, especially the buffet. You know the drill.  You go up to the buffet line and pile on some rice and what looks like chicken onto your plate, you travel down the line a bit, and then you see it!   The entire crew of the Enterprise with all their tricorders running couldn't identify the nastiness before you.  The only thing you can think is, "What the hell is that?" You know the stuff, it's got corn and eyeballs or something just as sinister mixed in a weird gloopy sauce.  Another china chow favorite is the pieces of pork speared on those giant toothpicks. Always reminds me of the Conan the Barbarian movie when Arnold bought that lizard on a stick.

   Did you ever notice that sometime after your first plate (if it hasn't come up before) someone will inform you with a straight face, "This place got busted for using cat meat." It is simply amazing how every Chinese restaurant has done this. Maybe there is something about cat meat we just don't know about.

It Ain't Over Until You Both Get Your Cookies

When you have finished your meal you get the proverbial fortune cookie. "Choose not the easiest path but the one that is more rewarding!" "You will be happy with friends today." "He who keeps mouth shut is no fool, but genius." Sometimes I wonder if the fortunes in these wisdom spewing cookies are secret CIA code words. I never thought much about fortune cookies, until one day a friend told me to add the preposistion "in video games" to the end of the fortunes. Even the three examples I gave above shine with hilarity when you add "in video games" to them! Check out this web page for more fortunes!




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