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Top 10 Signs Your Best Friend Is A Zombie  
Written by Dawkus  
Wednesday, 20 October 2004

It's always around Halloween when this starts to happen!  10.  The stench of beer farts and rancid milk emanates from him where ever he goes.

9.  He has this incredible obsession about brains.

8.  His clothes always have that "lived in, crumpled up, tatter of a fashion long ago," look about him that is SO the rage in Paris these days.

7.  He always works the graveyard shift, always.

6.  Whenever he passes out in alleys, he's mistaken for a dead bum.  This usually ends in a nasty surprise for the boys in the city morgue later that night.

5.  You really hate inviting him to your parties, because he usually ends up eating one of your other guests.

4.  He falls apart in high stress situations, literally.  (eyes, ears, fingers, toes, etc)

3.  When acting, he's always typecast as Clint Eastwood's body double.

2.  He has trouble walking, driving, operating heavy machinery, and talking.  (except for the phrase, "Brains, Bra-a-a-a-ins!")

1.  No matter how hard you try, you can't beat his record for holding his breath underwater:  14 days, 18 hours, 27 minutes, and 32 seconds.

 

Bonus Sign:  Though he never dresses up for Halloween, everyone always congratulates him on having such a great costume.

 

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