Thursday, 16 September 2004
Welcome to the first Farshot article that features webmasters comments from all over the web! Our subject is Pet Peeves.
Dave from Grundage writes: "On Ebonics and poorly constructed sentences: I don't care where you're from, intentionally abusing the English language does not make you sound "cool". I reject the usage of terms such as "kickin' it", "peeps", "keepin' it real", etc. Hearing these terms will cause me to laugh at you and shake my head in disgust. Also rejected are deliberately abbreviated shortcuts, such as "I am 2 kewl 4 u, what evar!" America is in desperate need of re-education. (Remember to drink milk.)"
Joe from Reodorant writes:
"My main pet peeve is rude people. For instance, just the other day, one of the naked Eastern European women feeding me chocolates from the back of my chauffer-driven Maserati stretch limousine dropped a piece of caramel right on my hand-stitched Italian silk suit! I was so distraught that I immediately cancelled the back rub AND the blowjob. Now, maybe some of you will go to a gala nightclub opening with a tiny, almost invisible stain on your suit, but I have standards!
Anyway, after the caramel catastrophe, this clumsy fool started apologizing profusely! Can you imagine the nerve of her? Anyone with even a hint of manners would have flung herself from the car immediately – preferring a gruesome death to the shame of slightly marring a suit.
Naturally I fired her, had her deported, burned down her family home, shot her dog and made fun of her grandmother. I just hate rude people!"
Chris from MudBubble writes: "Those damn fast food burger ads make the burgers look like the size of your head and in full technicolor brilliance - making your mouth water until you leave a puddle on the floor in front of the lazy boy chair - but when you get up off yer arse to go to one of these culinary masterpieces - they look like an elephant scab slapped between 2 pieces of stale bread that was driven over by an F-150 pick-up truck earlier that morning."
Andrew from Defestration Magazine writes: "My pet peeve: There are certain words in the English language that people refuse to pronounce correctly, and there is nothing more irritating than hearing these words butchered on a daily basis. They include library (pronounced "libary" by people who have the inability to acknowledge multiple Rs in words), cavalry (pronounced "calvary" by many people, who fail to realize that's the place where Jesus was crucified and not some guys on horseback), and nuclear (which even the president pronounces "nucular," although that's not saying much). Hearing words like these mispronounced makes my heart explode with frustration. As you can well imagine, I've gone though many, many hearts."
Raw Joe from Flipsided.com writes: "My biggest pet peeve would probably be thinking up what your going to say when you break up with a girlfriend. Ya know, you don't want to hurt their feelings, but at the same time you hate them. I personally have trouble with this, this is what I have so far. You can start out with something like:
Then you get into the details on why she pisses you off.
"You got ugly"
Then you have to end with something sincere:
But this usually ends with a gunshot to the testicles from the older brother. So there's my problem . . . I can't freakin call my girlfriend a whore without someone getting all pissy about it."
There you have it! Some of the best writing talent out there today, and their view point on Pet Peeves. If you are a webmaster and would like to participate in the next topic, then drop me an email!