Wednesday, 10 November 2004
10. Find the nearest political casino. Put it all on Proposition 15, black.
9. Store it inside a mattress in the Lincoln Bedroom. From time to time sneak into the room to look at it. If anyone asks, say you are looking for mice.
8. Put it all in a bag labeled "For Republican Use Only." Hold it up and laugh everytime a Democrat walks by.
7. Show up to your next press conference naked. Claim you are wearing your "Emperor Clothes".6. Invade Europe. Frown and say you meant to ban abortion and signed the wrong document.
5. Demolish Alabama State Supreme Court. Place a "Biblical Funhouse" built from a five story replica of the Ten Commandments monument. Place Roy Moore in charge, but to keep things fair, he has to wear a clown costume.
4. Declare all "Bushisms" valid grammar. Any American citizen caught not using the new terms will be subject to beatings with wiffle bats.
3. Annex Cananda. Claim, "It's about time we took back our 14th colony!"
2. Make cowboy hats and boots mandatory on Sundays.
1. Declare that everyone from the states that voted for Kerry must paint themselves blue. They then must buy everyone from the "Red States" pizza and beer.