Go To Farshot.com Home Page
contact advertise bios legal Site Map!

     

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care.

Monday, 10 December 2018
Main Menu
 Home
 Latest
 Archives
 Fake News
 Top 10 Lists

Comics
Snappy Shotz
Shroom
Freddy
Deviled Eggs

Cool Places
Smooth Operator
Well Played
ApeChild  
Global Distortion 
Satire Awards
Madville.com
eHacked
Paper Fuse
Mud Bubble
Spitcircle
Drunk Dwarves

Donate!
Support farshot.com in making a small donation:

Newsletter
Keep yourself updated with our FREE newsletters now!

Name:

Email:


Home
Lord of the Rings Movies Metaphor for War on Carbs  
Written by Dawkus  
Monday, 08 November 2004

A strange and extended moment!     For the last few years, people have been dieting using the low-carb method.  This means eating foods high in fat content such as cheese and ham, but leaving out high carb foods such as bread.

     According to Myra Estanza, President of the Low-Carb Feva For The Flava club, the diet owes its thanks to Tolkien's greatest works.  "It's obvious, really," says Myra, "The ring represents the one true diet that works.  You put on the ring, and you become invisible, or less than you were.  This would definitely corrupt you because a diet should be based on things like sacrifice and discipline.  By giving the luxury of putting on the ring and becoming uber thin you would be yo-yo dieting to the extreme!  You'd have to take the ring off eventually, and you'd be back at the weight you originally were."

     Peter Jackson, director of all three Lord of the Rings movies, denies Estanza's claims. 

     "I lived those movies for three freaking years in New Zealand, alright?  Just take one look at me, and you'll see the low-carb theory is just a load of bunk.  I look like a young Jerry Garcia turned Hobbit.  I mean, c'mon!"

Now, THAT'S a wrap!     Despite Jackson's claims, there are rumors that there will be a new, fifteen minute battle sequence with Gandalf wearing a Subway hat and apron, duking it out with a giant wrap sword made out of turkey, bacon, and cheese.

     Some of Gandalf's supposed war cries are:

     "Wouldst thou like to be a six inch or twelve, vile scum!"

     "Mayo, mustard, and decapitation?!?!"

     "Back to thy high-carb world with thee, back to bread, milk, and beans!

 

 

[Oldest][Previous][Next][Newest]

 








Farshot Family
Global Distortion
Paper Fuse

Most Popular!
Hottest Halloween Costumes
Pirates Vs Ninjas
U.S. Confirms Capture of Gannon
Bush Caught Lip Synching
Top 10 Signs Your Best Friend Is A Zombie

Polls
If You Could Be On a Reality Show Which One Would It Be?
Survivor
The Amazing Race
Surreal Life
Big Brother
American Idol
Apprentice
The Contender
Dog the Bounty Hunter
  


Copyright © Farshot.com 2002-2004