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Ancient Eygptian Mickey D's Uncovered  
Written by Dawkus  
Monday, 20 December 2004

     In a startling new discovery, a team of archeologists have unearthed evidence supporting the theory of an ancient advanced civilization.

"We first entered the tomb of Ronal MekDonal, court jester of his majesty King Kee-Pum Coman in early July of this year,"  says Professor Gill Fishers, head of the expedition that made the discovery.  "We weren't sure what we would find, as it is rare for a court jester to have his own tomb.  Never in our wildest dreams could we expect to find what we did."  Professor Fishers breathes a sigh of relief.  "I'll tell you one thing.  I thank god everyday it wasn't anymore of them flying saucer hieroglyphs.  Christ, you find them pictures all over the internet."

Here is a picture taken from the tomb of Ronal MekDonal:

 

 

     "We've done some translating, and we have come up with some remarkable results," Fishers continues, "It seems that the ancients dined at McDonalds, well more like 'McAnnubis', and drank Cairo Colas.  It's so freaking wild that I just want to grow pointed ears and scream 'fascinating'!"

 

A Menu from that era's "McDonalds" was uncovered and translated:

     "It's amazing, but the people of that time were extremely health conscious, which closely resembles American society today.  These symbols were actually on a 'Do not use' list out of a health brochure."

     Professor Fishers' team also uncovered a mummified can of cola. Using cat scans and extensive computer effects the following picture is their best guess of what the can of pop might have looked like:

     Little is known as to what caused the civilization's downfall.  All records stop a few years after the menu and can were made.

     "If only we could find out what happened to them," says Professore Fishers, "It frightens me to see such startling similarities in our two cultures, and yet we aren't able to see a possible pitfall in our near future.   It shakes me to the very foundation of my being.  Perhaps if we study further, we can find the ancient Egyptian's demise, and avoid it ourselves."

 

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